I am studying Electronics master program in Umea University. I am from Turkey and very upset about gender politics of Turkish government. This is why I prefer Sweden to study since it is relatively good about this subject.
I have met a Turkish-Bulgarian classmate her in one of our course class. And we start to study together and be friends. Then we started to talk about relationships. He was saying that women are weak and sensitive except his mother. I was really upset facing this igorance. He was giving examples such as how he treated his women friends in rude way and how they emotionally reacted. I stopped seeing him. Then he started to write me on facebook in really insisted way to meet or study together. I was trying to kindly reject his requests. Then he was asking for further explanation. And then he wrote me that he likes me on Facebook. I clearly stated that I do not like him and we are only flatmates. First he accepted that and next days he started write things like ”why I do not want him” he was saying that ”If I make a reasonable explanation he would stop asking.” That was insane I was seeing it how he has psychological problems and how the answer “I do not like you” is not enough to him. I totaly stopped answering him on facebook and then he rang my door with a gift. Asking for forgivness and to be friend back and still asking for further explanation why I stop seeing him or why I do not like him. I said that I do not have to make any more explanation that I do not like you must be enough. And also I stated that I do not want to talk to him or see him or be friends.Then he lefted the gift on the floor and told that he can not give that anyone else but me. When I checked the box it was written “min alskling” on it. He was asking for friendship there but on the box he already meant more than that. After a while he wrote that ”I love you” on facebook which was the last drop for me. I deleted him and blocked on Facebook. Then I saw him at my door with another gift again. I did not even open the door and told only he must go. After a while I heard that he was at my door again when I am on holiday.This harassing was not that frequent or harmfull but only psychological pressure or violance. But then, he saw me in a corridor party and looked at me a while and come to me and start to force me to talk again. His flatmate tried to stop him and I overheard this conversation ”She does not want to talk, leave her.” the answer from him was ” It does not matter if she wants or not.” I knew he was exactly realizing this idea on his behaves but hearing it made me upset and I told him go and enough. Then I turned my back to him and kept dancing. Then he caught hold my hair and tried to turn my face to him. My friends there and stopped him and he left to the door and stood there all night and looked at me. And even after that he sent his flatmate to talk to me. I told him that I will call police if he shows up around me again. And I reported this issue to police and also the university. From police they told me that if he shows up again I should call 112 and the police will take him. And in the university my teacher was really helpful and he told that this is unacceptable in Sweden. I am sure if that would be happened in Turkey, no one would care about it and that would not be a case since I am not damaged. As human being we have to beat the gender unequalities and we must create a world which everyone has equal rights in any subject.
Dudu Hazal OK